Chef vs Pets: Round Three
Although they were only 5 lbs each, and kept in a cage, these Minpins were nothing but two tiny terrors.
When I first started cooking professionally as a Personal Chef, in 2001, I would take any client. I was young and didn’t care how far I would need to drive, or what type of person the clients might be (Pre “Horrible Client Radar” days) or what kind of cooking environment I would be subjected to. Which brings me to the tale of the couple who hired me to cook for them out in the sticks of Siler City.
Bobby and LInda were a couple in their 50’s who lived in a double wide mobile home located in the woods, down an old dirt road. They had contacted me to cook for them because Bobby had just had a heart attack, and per doctor’s orders, he was to eat a mediterranean diet, which LInda knew nothing about.
I drove out to meet with them and do the initial interview at their place to find out what they liked and didnt like, what their kitchen was equipped with and such, and how we could (as “Team Bobby”, Linda’s term for all who were helping) get him back to health. Both of them worked as well, Bobby a contractor and Linda a cashier at the local Kroger, so I had to meet with them early evening on a Tuesday night. Driving down the long dirt road to find their home, I was a little wigged out because it was soooo deep in the woods and getting dark, and thinking back on this now, how incredibly brave/stupid I was then because there were no cell phones with GPS for someone to try to find me, had I been abducted or lost back in there.
I came upon their address with a weathered looking double wide trailer, with wooden steps wrapped in bright green moss and looking none the too sturdy. Out from the front door stepped Linda, a heavy set woman with blond-gray hair down to her shoulders. She was dressed in denim from head to toe and waving an overly excited hand at me. I grabbed my intake book from the seat next to me and, dressed in my chef whites, got out of my car and walked up to her. “Hope ya didn’t have any problems finding the place!”, Linda yelled. “No, it was pretty much just like you described”, I replied, relieved to have found the place while walking up the steps trying not to slip on the green wooden steps.
I entered the house to a loud, sharp chorus of barking dogs coming from the kitchen. There was a baby gate positioned between the kitchen entrance way and the living room, blocking two small Minpins (Miniature Pinschers) from entering the living room. “Awwww,” I said with a smile looking at the little dogs. “This is Rocky and Apollo. They are basically our “kids” and the best watch dogs ever!”, said Linda. I laughed at the names for such tiny dogs.
Just then Bobby came out from another door. He was a huge man in both stature and weight. At least six foot five or better, he greeted me with a hand outstretched and said, “So, you must be our chef!” I replied with a smile and and said, “Yes, I’m Chef Shirlé. Nice to meet you Bobby”, all the while having to yell over the din of barks and snarls. “Where do you want to sit to do the interview?” I asked. “Well, we could sit at the kitchen table, but I’ve got to get those two into their crate,” Linda shouted.
They both told me to stay where I was as they climbed over the gate and snatched up the tiny tornado of brown and black fur. They then each put them into a large dog crate that was located in the living room. The growls and barking only got louder as they released them. We then walked into the kitchen and sat down at the small formica table and began the interview. The dogs never stopped their barking the entire hour I was there, but I managed to get all the info I needed. I guess, like people with small children, they become deaf to all the noise. After we set a date for my return to cook, they handed me the spare key and told me that the pups would be put up in their crate and also told me to give them some treats when I first got there to quiet them down. “They will settle when they get tired of barking,” Bobby said.
A week had passed and on a beautiful spring day I showed up to begin helping Bobby get healthier. I entered the house. Bobby and Linda were both at work but Rocky and Apollo were there, in their crate and in a fury of bared teeth and ear piercing barks. I immediately grabbed their box of treats and dropped a few between the bars at the top of the crates, making sure my fingers were no where near the bars. They ignored the treats and kept a fierce defense towards me. OK, I thought. Maybe they will cool out once I get settled in the kitchen. I brought all the groceries into the kitchen and began making the healthy menu that Bobby and Linda O.K’d the week before.
The barking never stopped. I put on classical music (to soothe the savage beast) and the barking never stopped. I tried giving them some deli turkey pieces (my own dog’s special treat)and the barking never stopped. 4 solid hours of non-stop barking. When I finally got done and left their house I drove home in complete silence. Not even the radio on. My ears and nerves were shot.
The following week, when I sent out a new menu to Bobby and Linda, I was both disheartened to see that they were going to stop the service because Bobby couldn’t stand how healthy the meals were. “He needs his fried chicken and Micky D’s”, Linda wrote, but continued, “But I loved all your meals!” I was honestly worried about Bobby’s future health, but wished them both the best.
I was, however, thankful that I wouldn’t have to experience the nerve fraying din of Rocky and Apollo’s constant onslaught ever again.
Until next week, thanks so much for following along on this journey!
- Shirlé
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Thank you again,
- Shirlé
PS: All names, places and occupations have been changed to protect the identity of all clients and chefs.
A Shout Out to this Weeks Paid Supporters:
A special shout out to the newest paid subscribers:
Maria Able is a new subscriber, a substack member and chef as well! Thanks Maria for joining us!
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Camille Miller is another new subscriber, as well as a new musician on the scene here in Lisbon Portugal and a world traveler along with her family. Check out her music here: https://camillemiller.com
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Robinlee Garber, Chef Lynn Warlick Wells, Jake Brokaw, Miyuki Furtado and Spanky Wilson, Myra Ruppe Schwartz, Lisa Deemer Sethi and Claudia L Sanders, Laurel Estabrooks and Leela Montella,! Thank you all soooo much for your support!
-Leela is a person I have known since kindergarten. She has made a lovely life for her and her family and I love watching her kids success stories.
-Myra is an old NC friend who I recently got to see here in beautiful Lisbon with her partner Scott. Maybe someday they will become expats in this fair land.
-Robinlee is a childhood friend and all around renaissance woman, living and playing music in Chicago.
-Chef Lynn is a fellow Personal Chef buddy and owner of Thyme Well Spent, Personal Chef Service, based out of Greensboro NC. When not cooking for clients or food styling for cookbooks, she can be found hobnobbing with tastemakers and culinary shakers all over the country.
-Jake and his wife Brigitte have long been huge supporters of my cooking and are also huge supporters of the arts in Baltimore, Maryland. Jake also has an Orthopedic practice I have had to use a few times.
-Miyuki has been a lifelong friend and bandmate of mine from days long past. He’s also one of the best fathers and husbands I know and has raised one of the coolest kids, his daughter Mino along with his sweet wife Tricia. Miyuki currently plays music in his Alt-Country band, Divining Rod. You can listen to Divining Rod out on all music platforms. (Chef Lynn, I think you would LOVE his music!)
-Spanky has been a huge supporter of my cooking from my NC days. When not fire fighting you might find Spanky hiking the Appalachian trail.
-Lisa has been in my life since the early 90’s. She’s a huge music supporter and a lover of all things delicious.
-Claudia is an old friend from my days in North Carolina. I met Claudia at a pig pull back in 1998, when I first moved to Chapel Hill. Since then, Claudia has started a successful Personal Chef business, Good Intentions Personal Chef Service in the Hillsborough area, as well as serving the Durham and Chapel Hill area.
-Laurel Estabrooks is a new expat friend, recently becoming a Portuguese resident. Parabens!! Someday I hope to meet up face to face. Muito Obrigada Laurel!!
Thank you all sooo much for supporting me in this endeavor. I am truly grateful for you.
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